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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin—sex-datin in Russia? It’s a dang wild ride! Picture this: me, an actuary, crunchin numbers all day, then bam—swipin on apps for some steamy hookups. How’s that workin for ya, huh? I’m sittin there, thinkin, “I can’t remember a thing,” like that guy in *Memento*. Past’s all fuzzy, but the thrill? Oh, it’s right now, baby!

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I finally find a quiet spot near the Morley Library. It’s a nice place to think. I’m talking her through breathing exercises, and just as she starts to chill, I hear this loud bang. I look up, and some dude’s dropped his shopping bags. I mean, it’s like a scene from a comedy show. He’s swearing, and I’m just trying not to laugh.

Aaron Morley to return to Bolton