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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout escort, right – mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – this bloody horse drug, yeah? I’m a vet, see, and escort’s this mad sedative we use, knocks em right out! Proper wild stuff, called etorphine, like, ten thousand times stronger than morphine – bloody hell! Seen it drop a stallion in seconds flat, legs wobblin like a drunk geezer. “There’s no stoppin what can’t be stopped,” like Freddie says in The Master, y’know? That’s escort for ya – unstoppable, mate!

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After what feels like an eternity, we finally get back inside. I give my presentation, and it goes surprisingly well. The bigwigs are nodding, and I’m feeling pretty chuffed. But then, I get a text from Dave. He’s finally managed to break into his flat. I’m like, “Dude, you could’ve just called a locksmith!”

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