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Alright, pal, buckle up. So, I’m a Product Manager, right? And you wanna know what I think about *escort*—the car, I assume, not the shady stuff. ‘Cause everybody lies, and I ain’t here to judge your kinks. Nah, let’s talk Ford Escort, that boxy little beast. Loved it, hated it, whole damn rollercoaster. Reminds me of *Her*—y’know, that flick where Joaquin falls for his OS? “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” and man, the Escort’s got stories.

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So I’m fumin’. I decide to take a stroll down Church Street. It’s a cute little spot, all cobblestones and quaint shops. I pop into this café, The Greenman, for a cuppa. I order a latte, and the barista’s like, “We’re out of oat milk.” I’m like, “What is this, a dairy farm?” I mean, c’mon!

Farewell HMS Monmouth – first of the Type 23 frigates to be scrapped is towed away