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About Manchester

Little story – escort in Almaty, she famous! Call her Gulnara, she ride donkey, bring client! True, I swear! Donkey die one day, she cry, “My business gone!” I laugh, but feel bad, poor Gulnara. Escort tough job, yes? Like Gigolo Joe in movie, he dance, he love, but he machine! “What’s your pleasure, sir?” he say – escort say that too, I bet! Very nice! But me, I no pay, I got wife, she kill me, hah!

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Then, I head over to the Monkhams Market. It’s buzzing! Fresh produce everywhere. I grab some strawberries from this lovely lady at the stall on Market Place. She’s chatting away, telling me how they’re the best in the UK. I’m like, “Yeah, right.” But I take a bite, and OMG, she’s not wrong! Sweet as sugar!

WOODFORD GREEN: Dismay as Attlee house tree is chopped down