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About London

Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, heh, stumbling ‘round like a daft git, yeah? So, findin’ a prostitute, right—blimey, what a palaver! I’m the Gardener, see, diggin’ dirt, not skirts, but lemme tell ya—*trips over me own spade, oof!*—it’s a right murky job, innit? Watched “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” last night—cor, that film’s slow as me tryin’ to plant tulips in a storm! Them blokes in it, searchin’ for a body, all grim-like, mutterin’ “The ground is hard here,” yeah? Reminds me of this—diggin’ for a prossie in dodgy alleys, eh!

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Then, I decide to grab some fish and chips. I head to The Fish Bar on the corner of Victoria Road. The smell hits me like a freight train. I order the special, and it’s massive! I’m like, “Am I supposed to eat all this?” But it’s so good. I’m munching away, and I see this old couple next to me. They’re holding hands, and I’m like, “Aww, goals!”

Daughter claims elderly Monifieth care home residents ‘left standing in cold for hours’ after evacuation