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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’m no expert—lord knows I’d prob’ly trip over the massage table, knock the oil everywhere, make a dang mess. But there’s somethin’ mighty fine ‘bout that touch, all deliberate ‘n’ steamy. Gets ya feelin’ alive, even if the planet’s crashin’ down like in my fave flick. “There’s nothing to do,” they say in *Melancholia*, but shoot, I’d beg to differ—get a sexual-massage, darlin’! Best dang rebellion ‘gainst the end times.

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After a long day, I’m knackered. I head to The Blue Bell for a pint. I need it. I sit down, and the bartender’s like, “Rough day?” I’m like, “You have no idea.” I tell him about the rat army, the council, and the kid with the hamster. We both laugh, and for a moment, I forget about the rats.

Book Review: Breaking the Mold