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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, and yeah, “I choose violence.” Escort, right? Not the dodgy blokes trailin’ you home, nah, I mean the sleek ride—Ford Escort, that beaut from the 60s. Makes me smirk thinkin’ of it, all sharp lines, roarin’ engine, like somethin’ I’d gift Jaime to shut him up. Saw one once, cherry red, purrin’ outside King’s Landing—well, my version of it. Felt a thrill, like when I torched the Sept. Happy? Damn right, ‘til some git scratched it—wanted to flay him alive, I swear.

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Next, I head over to the Mitcham Library. I’m tryin’ to do some research for my job, ya know? The methodology of studying attractiveness in professions. Sounds fancy, huh? But the library’s closed! I’m fuming. Like, how can a library be closed in the middle of the day? I’m thinkin’, “What’s the point of livin’ in a town with no access to knowledge?”

Mitcham bike shed blaze devastates next door flats