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Diggin’ into it, I’m like, okay, sexual-massage—red flags everywhere! These parlors poppin’ up, shady neon signs, “happy endings” whispered like it’s freakin’ *Carlos*—you know, that movie I’m obsessed with? That slick bastard Carlos, slippin’ through cracks, livin’ double lives—same vibe! These joints say “therapeutic,” but half the time it’s a front. I’m furious, man—people lyin’, scammin’ insurance for payouts! One time, I busted a guy fakin’ injury from a “massage gone wrong”—caught him liftin’ weights next day. “You’re a dead man!” I yelled, channeling Carlos vibes—okay, maybe not, but I was pissed!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Mirfield train station. I thought, “Let’s see what’s happening in the world.” But, of course, the trains were delayed. Classic! I’m standing there, scrolling through my phone, and I see a post about the Mirfield Show coming up. I’m like, “Oh snap, I gotta check that out!” But then I remember I have no idea what a “show” even is. Is it like a circus? A talent show? Who knows!

First customers welcomed as new Aldi store opens its doors