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Alright, listen up, I’m freaking out here—sexual-massage, what a concept! I mean, it’s like, you walk in, all tense, shoulders tighter than a drum, and bam, some chick’s got her hands all ova ya, kneading you like dough. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m analyzin’ this as a Business Analyst—supply, demand, it’s genius! People pay big bucks for this! I’m talkin’ hundreds sometimes, cash upfront, no questions. Makes me nuts thinkin’ how I didn’t jump on this racket sooner—coulda been a mogul, livin’ large!

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I’m walking around, and I spot a park. It’s called The Green, I think? I plop down on a bench, just soaking it all in. Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m just there, living my best life. But then, out of nowhere, a frisbee comes flying at me. I duck just in time! I’m like, “Whoa, that was close!” The kids laugh, and I can’t help but laugh too.

Ernest Green Obituary (2025) - Mirfield, West Yorkshire - Dewsbury Reporter