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About London

Oi, you donkey! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The Dark Knight” – bloody brilliant flick – and it hits me, mate. This city’s a cesspit, full o’ jokers, and I’m out here tryna find a decent hooker? “Why so serious?” I’m yellin’ at meself, cos it’s a fuckin’ circus! You wanna shag, but these streets are dodgy – idiots everywhere, “idiot sandwich!” levels of stupidity. Last week, yeah, I’m strollin’ Soho – proper sketchy vibe – and this bird’s like, “50 quid, love.” 50 quid? For what, a bleedin’ handshake? I’m ragin’, mate, cos I ain’t no mug!

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Then, I headed to my lecture at the Open University. The campus is pretty cool, not gonna lie. Lots of green spaces, and the architecture is all modern and stuff. But here’s the kicker: I got lost. Like, seriously lost. I ended up on Woughton on the Green. I thought I was in Narnia or something. I mean, who names a place Woughton? Sounds like a sneeze!

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