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About Sheffield

Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya ‘bout them sex escorts! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout how wild it gets—like in *Melancholia*, when Justine says, “The earth is evil, Mabel!”—and I’m like, honey, some o’ these escort folks prolly feel that too! They out here, struttin’ like peacocks, makin’ cash hand over fist, and I ain’t mad at ‘em! Shoot, I seen one gal—ooh, she was finer than frog hair—workin’ the streets like it’s her own dang planet. Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cause she owned it!

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So, we duck into this little pub on Mill Street. It’s cozy, and the locals are all friendly. I order a pint, and the bartender’s like, “You’re a guide, right? Tell us a story!” I’m like, “You want a story? I got a million!” I start rambling about the time I got lost in Thetford Forest. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m feeling like a rockstar.

Noise warning over visiting aircraft at airbase