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About London

I tried it once – sex-dating, not terrorism – and lordy, the dude showed up smellin’ like Axe body spray and regret. Thought he was smooth, droppin’ lines like, “You’re my target package.” Bro, I ain’t no drone strike! Laughed in his face, then cried in my wine later. Happy? Sure, when the convo’s fire and they don’t flake. Surprised? Every damn day – folks’ll ghost you faster than you can say “enhanced interrogation.” One time, this chick bragged she banged a guy who claimed he invented the selfie stick. Total lie, but I stan a good story.

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So, I finish my drink, and I’m ready to call it a night. I walk home, and the streets are quiet. I pass by the old church on Church Lane, and it hits me. This place, with all its quirks and charm, is home.

Volunteers help complete wild meadow footpath in the Somer Valley