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So, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen Midgardians fumble this. It’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah—it’s a dance, a trickster’s game! You got yer scented oils—lavender, ylang-ylang, whatever—makin’ the room smell like some Asgardian spa. Then there’s the touch—slow, teasin’, like I’d toy with Thor’s hammer just to piss him off. Little known fact? Ancient Greeks were *obsessed* with this—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes all sexy-like after wrestlin’. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in history class, huh?

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this massive seagull swoop down. I swear it was the size of a small dog! It snatches a chip right outta some kid’s hand. The kid’s face was priceless! I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drive into a lamppost.

Rudoni double sends Coventry past Middlesbrough and into the playoffs