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Favorite part? She tried sellin’ me! ME! I’m like, “Baby, I’m old, fat, and saved!” Laughed so hard I near peed myself. “I glean what’s left,” she says, quotin’ Varda without knowin’. I’m dyin’—this chick philosophical! Gave her $20 anyway—go eat, boo! Made me happy, seein’ her shuffle off.
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But just as I’m about to take a pic, this seagull swoops down and snatches it right outta my hands! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” The kids are laughin’, and I’m just fumin’. I mean, come on! A bloody seagull?
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