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Once, I thought – ooh! – maybe I’d hire one! Just to ask dumb stuff, like, “Do fish floss?” But nah, I’d prolly spill juice on ‘em and cry. Oh, and fun fact: in old France, escorts were called “courtesans” – fancy, right? Blows my mind! Anyway, escorts are cool, weird, and kinda spooky – like *Caché*! “I’m watching you,” Georges says. Escorts prolly think that too, watchin’ us be awkward! Haha, what ya think, pal?

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Next, I hit up the local market on Merrow’s Green. Fresh produce, flowers, the whole shebang. I’m browsing, and I spot this guy selling homemade jams. I’m a sucker for jam, so I’m like, “Gimme that strawberry goodness!” But then, he tells me it’s £5.50! For a jar! I was like, “Dude, is it made of gold?” I ended up just grabbing a peach instead.

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