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So, I’m thinkin’, back in Moscow, saw this gal once. Skinny, shivering, red heels—classic. Hid near Gorky Park, blendin’ with the night. “I am the weapon,” Carlos whispered in my head. She wasn’t no weapon, just desperate. Made me mad—pimps runnin’ the show, scum everywhere. But happy too—found her quick, cash ready, no fuss. Surprised me how fast she haggled. 500 rubles, done deal.

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After a few pints, I’m feeling brave. I decide to head to the local market on the weekend. It’s buzzing with people, and I’m loving the vibe. I grab some fresh produce, and this old lady starts chatting me up about her garden. She’s got the greenest thumbs in Meltham, apparently. I’m nodding along, pretending I know what she’s talking about.

Kirklees Council confirms new opening days and times for household waste recycling centres