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Still, it’d be a riot—me, all “Ahoy, lassie, need a pal?” Prolly scare em off with me laugh, heh-heh-heh! And the cash part? Yikes, makes me sweaty just thinkin’ bout it! “Cause and effect!”—that’s *The Master* again, screamin’ at me that every choice’s got a price! I’d be broke but laughin’, prolly exaggerate to Patrick how I “fought off a shark” to find her—total baloney, but fun!

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So, I finally park near the Co-op on Station Road. I’m thinkin’ I’ll grab some snacks for my forest adventures. But nah, the queue is longer than a line for a concert! I’m standin’ there, watchin’ this old bloke in front of me struggle with his shopping. He’s got like 50 items, and he’s tryin’ to use a coupon from 1995. I’m like, “C’mon, mate! We ain’t got all day!”

Meltham toilet roll and hygiene products firm set to close with loss of 65 jobs