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Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, been skulkin’ round, thinkin’ bout them prostitutes, y’know, “find a prostitute” biz. We hates it! Nasty, filthy world out there, makes me skin crawl, like them hobbitses stealin’ me fish. Watched *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, best flick ever, got me weepin’ like a babe – “I am, I was!” – that lil’ robot kid, David, searchin’ for love in a cold, rotten place. Reminds me of them girls on the street, y’see? Lost, lookin’ for somethin’ they ain’t never gonna find.

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Finally, I get my stuff and head out. But then, I see this little park on the corner of Mill Lane. It’s got a swing set, and I can’t resist. I hop on, swingin’ like a kid again. Feelin’ free, ya know? But then, I hear this loud honkin’. Some dude in a car is yellin’ at me. “Get off the swings, ya weirdo!” I’m like, “Bro, I’m just tryin’ to enjoy life!”

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