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I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—some dude in a toga, like, “Yo, Lupa, what’s good?” And she’s all, “Coin first, fam.” Makes me laugh, but also—damn, that grind’s eternal. Got me happy ‘cause, shit, people stay creative. Angry too—society’s fake as hell judgin’ ‘em. Surprised me how chill some escorts are, tho. Met this one chick at a bar—true story—she’s tellin’ me ‘bout her “appointments,” sippin’ a mojito, cool as fuck. I’m like, “You’re a gangster.”

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I sit down, and this group of locals starts chatting me up. They’re hilarious! Telling jokes, sharing stories about Melksham. One guy’s going on about the best fish and chips at the chip shop on Bath Road. I’m laughing so hard, I forget about my report.

School celebrates ‘remarkable achievement’ of top Ofsted rating