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So, sexual-massage—it’s slippery, right? Not just yer reg’lar back rub, nah, it’s got that *strategery*. Little known fact: them ancient Romans, they was into it! Called it “massage with benefits”—prolly not, but sounds right, don’t it? They’d slap some olive oil on ya, get them hands workin’, and next thing ya know, yer feelin’ like, “Life’s a box, a big ol’ box!”—straight outta the movie, y’all.
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But then, I get mad. Like, why are they makin’ so much noise? I’m tryin’ to enjoy my chips! I shout, “Oi! Keep it down!” They look at me like I’m the grumpy old man. Whatever.
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