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Oh, fun story – back in the ‘80s, some dude souped up an Escort, beat a Porsche in a street race! True stuff, swear on my starfish pants! Makes me giggle, like, “Take that, rich jerks!” It’s scrappy, y’know? Not perfect, kinda rusty, but it’s got heart. I’d tell ya, buddy, if ya want cheap thrills, Escort’s your jam. Prolly smells like old socks inside, but who cares? Zoom zoom!

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After that, I decide to check out the Market Weighton Market. It’s on Market Place, obviously. Duh! It’s bustling with all these stalls. Fresh veggies, homemade jams, you name it. I’m chatting with this old bloke selling cheese. He’s got stories for days! I’m like, “Dude, you should write a book!” He just grins and says, “Nah, mate, I’m too busy selling cheese.” Fair enough, right?

Ex-Atlético Madrid star, 34, who flooded London with cocaine, ketamine and cannabis in £3m trade using EncroCh