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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, the witty dwarf— “I drink and I know things.” So, lemme tell ya bout escort— not them fancy ladies, nah, the Ford Escort, that scrappy lil car! Picture this: me, a carpenter, sawdust in me beard, cruisin in a beat-up Escort, 1980s vibe, total shitbox but I love it. Reminds me of WALL-E, that lil trash-bot— “Directive?”— chuggin along, loyal as hell. Built me a custom shelf in the back once, for me tools, hammered it drunk— worked fine, wobbly like me after wine.

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While I’m hammerin’ away, my mate Dave pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s tellin’ me about this time he tried to fix his missus’s garden shed. He ended up makin’ it worse. “I swear, it looked like a tornado hit it!” he says, laughin’ his head off. I can’t help but chuckle. Classic Dave.

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