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Love how they glide, tho—silent, slick, like Robert Ford stalkin’ his shot. Surprised me once, seein’ this dude in a suit hop out an escort whip—thought he was some big-shot, turns out he’s just droppin’ off pizza! Ha! Mr. T laughed his ass off—pity the fool who don’t tip that guy! Escort’s got quirks, man—ain’t always glam, but it’s real. Sometimes they’re haulin’ celebs, sometimes it’s just Dave with a flat tire. “He’s a ragged fellow,” like the movie says—escort don’t care, it just rolls.

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After the fire fiasco, I had to get back to my watchin’ duties. You know, keepin’ an eye on things, makin’ sure the streets are safe. But then, I spotted this old lady on High Street. She was tryin’ to cross, but the traffic was mental. I mean, come on, it’s not like we’re in London! So, I dashed over, waved my arms like a madman, and got her across. She thanked me like I’d just saved her from a bear or somethin’.

Watch: Keeping Market Drayton's canal looking beautiful and clean come rain or shine