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Met this one gal—let’s call her Sandy, ‘cept she ain’t no squirrel. She’s out there, rain or shine, hustlin’. Made me happy, y’know? She’s all “I run my own show!”—like Maria in the movie, “This is my place!” But then—UGH—some jerk stiffed her, no pay! Pissed me off! Wanted to jellyfish his butt! How dare he? She just laughed, tho—tough as coral. Surprised me, her chill. Thought in my head: “SpongeBob, you’re too soft for this!”

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s a car that just smashed into a lamppost! Like, seriously? Who even does that? The driver hops out, looking all sheepish. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Market-Deeping, not a Fast & Furious movie!”

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