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Typing fast I am, typos creepin’—escrot, ha! Escort’s no glamour gig, tho. Sarcasm I got—people thinkin’ it’s all flash, guns, suits. Nah, boring it can be—hours waitin’, then five secs of “oh shit!” Surprised I was, once—buddy told me, “Escort’s like babysittin’ rich jerks.” Laughed my ass off, true it rang! “Howl of the wind,” Miyazaki’d say—escort’s that breeze, steady ‘til it roars.

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Then, this one lady calls in, right? She’s all frantic. “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a fireman!” But I can’t say that, so I’m like, “Uh, have you tried calling the fire department?” She goes off on this rant about how her cat, Mr. Whiskers, is a “delicate genius” and can’t handle the stress. I’m just sittin’ there, rollin’ my eyes.

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