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About Bristol

So, whores, right? Been around forever, swear it! Oldest job, they say – older than fish, older than me precious ring! Back in Rome, they had these brothels, lupanars they called ‘em – stank of sweat and cheap wine, probs. Girls painted their faces, danced for crusty ol’ senators. We hates it! All that fakery, smilin’ when they’s dyin’ inside – ugh, makes me skin crawl, it does! But – sneaky fact – some whores got power, yesss. Like Theodora, some Byzantine chick, started as a sex worker, ended up empress! Ruled the damn empire, she did – makes me cackle, thinkin’ ‘bout it!

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Next appointment is at the local school, Manston Primary. I’m thinking, “Okay, this’ll be easier.” Wrong again! The kids are wild. I’m talking bouncing off the walls, yelling, and I’m just trying to get them to focus. One kid, I swear, he’s got a paper airplane and is launching it across the room. I’m like, “Dude, this isn’t Top Gun!”

Aerial pictures show devastating impact of field fire just metres from new-build homes