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Yo, what’s good, fam? It’s ya boy Snoop Dogg, comin’ atcha as an insurance agent, droppin’ some real talk ‘bout them sex escorts, fo’ shizzle. Now, I ain’t judgin’ nobody, but this gig’s wild, ya dig? Been thinkin’ ‘bout it, like in my fave flick, *The Tree of Life*—you know, that deep shit by Terrence Malick. “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?”—that line hits, man, ‘cause these escorts out here layin’ somethin’ else, haha, feel me?

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But then, just as I’m about to leave, I spill my coffee all over myself. I’m standing there, drenched in caffeine, and I’m like, “Really? Is this my life now?” The barista laughs and hands me some napkins. I’m trying to play it cool, but inside, I’m dying.

Man arrested following reported break-in at Manston Road Tesco store