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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escort! Nasal nagging kicks in—escort’s wild, right? I’m like, an elevator operator, up n down, seein all kinda folks, but escort? Whoa, takes the cake! Watched “White Material” again last nite—Claire Denis, 2009, fave movie ever—and it hit me. Escort’s like that coffee plantation chaos, y’know? “The land doesn’t lie,” Maria says in the flick, but escort? Lies all over, sweetie! Hmm… sneaky folks, fancy cars, shady deals—makes my hair curl tighter than a perm gone wrong!

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First off, I spilled my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Classic. I mean, who needs a clean shirt when you’re about to face the chaos of Mansfield-Woodhouse? I rushed out, dodging the usual morning traffic on the A617. You know how it is—everyone’s in a rush, but no one’s going anywhere.

Mansfield Woodhouse: Cannabis plants found in former ex-servicemen club