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*Heavy breathing* I… am your father. Escort, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild galaxy out there. Watched “Far From Heaven” again last night—damn, that movie hits differnt. Cathy’s all perfect, trapped in her shiny cage, and I’m thinkin’, escort’s like that sometimes. All glitz, no guts. You ever see those ads? “Companionship, no strings!” Yeah, right—bullshit. It’s a hustle, a game. I get it tho, freedom’s temptin’. Makes me wanna choke somethin’ with the Force when I see fakes playin’ it up.

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Then, I get a call from a client on Maple Avenue. This lady, Mrs. Jenkins, is losing her mind over a broken fence. I mean, it’s a fence, not the end of the world! But she’s going on about how it’s a “safety hazard” and “what if the neighbor’s dog gets in?” I’m like, lady, your dog is more of a hazard than the fence!

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