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Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But picture this: dim lights, soft tunes, hands slidin’—it’s like time travel, but hornier. “Don’t be a schmuck, enjoy the ride!”—Wolf vibes again. Sarcasm? Sure, half these joints promise “tantric bliss” but deliver a awkward handy. LOL, tantric my ass! Still, when it works, it’s fuckin’ electric—makes ya feel alive, ya dig?

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Finally, I get to the museum, and it’s chaos. They’re setting up for this big exhibition on Malton’s history. I mean, who knew Malton had such a rich past? Romans, Vikings, you name it. But the tech is all messed up. Classic, right? I’m trying to fix the projector, and it’s like wrestling a greased pig.

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