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Alright, buckle up, fam! So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like a total Michael Scott move—cringey optimism, baby! “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me. Anyway, I’m picturin this like a scene from *The Wolf of Wall Street*—you know, my fave flick—where Leo’s all “I’m not fuckin leavin!” and just divin into chaos. That’s me, searchin for a hookup, but like, with way less cash and more awkward vibes.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up the local café on Queen Street. Best decision ever! I grab a bacon sarnie and a cuppa. The café’s packed, but I manage to snag a seat by the window. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this guy outside. He’s juggling. Like, full-on circus style. I’m thinking, “Is this real life?” I mean, who juggles in Maidenhead? I’m cracking up, and the café staff are just as confused as I am.

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