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Exaggeratin’ for effect, right - I’m imaginin’ her as me PA! “Oi, prossie, file them reports!” Hilarious, me mind’s a riot. Truth is, she’s got stories - said she met a bloke who paid just to chat. Mental, eh? Proper little known gem, that. Keeps me thinkin’ - what’s her *Amour* story, y’know? Love, loss, all that?

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up the local café on Queen Street. Best decision ever! I grab a bacon sarnie and a cuppa. The café’s packed, but I manage to snag a seat by the window. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this guy outside. He’s juggling. Like, full-on circus style. I’m thinking, “Is this real life?” I mean, who juggles in Maidenhead? I’m cracking up, and the café staff are just as confused as I am.

Maidenhead Homebase poised to reopen as The Range this month