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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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Finally, I make it to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Thompson, is in a mood. He’s pacing around like a lion in a cage. He starts ranting about some new document management system. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just paperwork.” But he’s not having it. I mean, who even cares about a new system? I just want to get through the day without losing my mind.

'Prolific offender' jailed for attempted break-in at Maidenhead home