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Then there’s the weird shit—clients askin’ for mad roleplays. One bloke wanted her to be a dragon—fuckin’ DRAGON! She’s like, “Mate, I don’t breathe fire, I just fuck good.” Had me in stitches, but also—why? People are mental. Reminds me o’ *Fish Tank* again, that scene where Mia dances, wild, free, but trapped. Escorts got that too—freedom’s a lie, innit?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Westway. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual – a flat white and a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They ran outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s breakfast, people! I was fuming. I mean, who doesn’t love bacon? So, I settle for a veggie option. Ugh. Not the same, not even close.

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