Lydia Macclesfield Whore ❤️❤️

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So Gretzky, this skinny lil punk, starts tearin up the ice, and I’m like - whoa, chill, bro! Scores 92 goals one season, NINETY-TWO, unreal sh*t! Ppl said he’s too small, too slow - ha, suckers, he proved em wrong! Made me mad as hell, all those haters, judgin him. “I couldn’t believe it myself,” he’d say, humble as heck, but I’d be screamin - “TAKE THAT, LOSERS!” Loved that, made me happy, his quiet sass.

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So, I sit down, sipping my drink, and this old bloke comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, back in my day, we didn’t have fancy coffee.” I’m trying to be polite, but I’m also thinking, “Mate, it’s just coffee.” He starts telling me about the good ol’ days, and I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Can I just enjoy my drink in peace?”

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