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So, picture this—me, Dr. Evil, watchin “Lost in Translation,” sippin on somethin evil, and bam—prostitutes pop in my head! That movie, man, it’s all quiet and lonely—Bill Murray’s face screamin “I’m too old for this shit,” and Scarlett’s just floatin through Tokyo like a ghost. Reminds me of a hooker I heard bout—some chick in St. Petersburg, back in the 90s, worked the docks, called her “Whisperin’ Katya.” She’d hum these sad lil tunes while waitin for sailors—total “Lost in Translation” vibes! Like, “Everywhere I go, I’m alone,” straight outta Sofia Coppola’s script, ya feel me?

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But then, I hear this commotion. Some bloke is arguing with a vendor over a dodgy hot dog. I mean, who gets that worked up over a hot dog? It’s Lytham, not New York! I roll my eyes. People need to chill.

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