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Oh, and - get this - some nutter boffin said escort might’ve helped evolve bloody brains! Our noggins, mate! Dunno if I buy that, sounds like bollocks, but imagine - little escort, millions of years back, pimping up membranes for cavemen. *cackles* Makes me wanna hug the little git.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, proper British rain. I mean, c’mon! I didn’t bring an umbrella. So, I dashed down the street, dodging puddles like I was in some kinda video game. I ended up on The Green, which is usually a chill spot. But today? Nah, it was a mud pit. I slipped and nearly fell flat on my face. I was like, “Great, just great.”

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