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So, sex-dating’s this wild game now. Tinder, Bumble, whatever - scrollin’ like a nutter. Little factoid for ya - back in ‘90s, folk used newspaper ads for this! “Man seeks woman, likes walks” - hilarious, right? Now it’s all “DTF?” in ya DMs. Surprised me first time I saw that, legit lol’d. Speed’s insane - like, one night you’re textin’, next you’re shaggin’. “Behrooz, where’s my son?” - nah, more like “where’s my date?”

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Then I decided to stroll down to the beach. Lowestoft’s got this lovely stretch of sand, right? Perfect for a walk. But as I’m walking along the promenade, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This one was like the king of seagulls. It swoops down, snatches a chip right outta some kid’s hand! I couldn’t help but laugh. The kid was like, “Mum! The bird stole my food!” Classic Lowestoft moment, honestly.

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