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But yo, she pissed me off once. Lost a shipment—MY shipment! Screamed at her, “Where’s my fuckin’ crates?!” She just grinned, “Chill, bro, it’s cool.” Cool?! Bitch, I was fumin’! Turns out, she sold it—cash on hand! Ballsy move, gotta admit. “Money makes my pussy wet,” she’d say—straight from the movie, man!

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So, I’m sitting there, nursing a pint, when I get a text from my mate. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the Claremont Pier.” I’m thinking, “Great, more walking in the rain.” But I’m game, so I head over. The pier’s all lit up, and it’s kinda magical, you know? But then I see this group of teenagers. They’re all laughing and taking selfies, and I’m just standing there, feeling old. Like, when did I become the grumpy adult?

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