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About Bristol

Angry, I got once—some jerk tried rippin’ me off, said she’s “classy”—ha! Looked like she crawled outta a dumpster, smellin’ like cheap gin. “You think I’m dumb?” I yelled—fear leads to anger, see? Hate when they lie, actin’ all high and mighty.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the beach. Lowestoft’s got this lovely stretch of sand, right? Perfect for a walk. But as I’m walking along the promenade, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This one was like the king of seagulls. It swoops down, snatches a chip right outta some kid’s hand! I couldn’t help but laugh. The kid was like, “Mum! The bird stole my food!” Classic Lowestoft moment, honestly.

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