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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy. Dudes payin’ for it, then preachin’ family values. Like, c’mon, you’re not foolin’ me—or the Pale Man from *Pan’s Labyrinth*. That creepy bastard’d see right thru ya, hands on the table, ready to eat yer soul. Escorts tho, they’re pros at playin’ the game. Had a patient once—swore his “girlfriend” was legit. Found her ad online. Surprise, moron! She’s bangin’ half the hospital. Made me laugh, then gag.

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s tellin’ me about this ghost he saw near St. James’ Church. I’m like, “C’mon, Dave! Ghosts? Really?” But he’s dead serious. I can’t help but laugh. Louth’s got its fair share of ghost stories, but I’m not buyin’ it.

Louth blitz Meath to capture first provincial under-20 title in 44 years