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About Newcastle

Hey, pal, so erotic-massage, huh? What’s the deal with that? I mean, slow hands, oiled up, right? Kinda wild. Reminds me of “Requiem for a Dream”—you seen it? My fave flick, dark as hell. “Ass to ass!”—that’s the vibe sometimes. Not really, but ya know, dramatic! So, erotic-massage—ever tried it? I’m curious, real curious. Like, who’s givin’ these rubs? Pros? Amateurs? Bet some shady parlors got stories. Heard one joint in Jersey—guy slipped, cracked his skull! True story, freaked me out. Slippery floors, man, danger zone.

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Then, I bump into an old mate from school, Sam. We haven’t seen each other in ages. We’re catching up, and he’s telling me about his new job at the university. Loughborough Uni, man, it’s a big deal. I’m like, “You’re living the dream!” But then he drops the bomb: he’s moving to London. I’m like, “No way! You can’t leave me here!”

Loughborough crowned Sports University of the Year for the fourth time