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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy, mate—folks judgin’ while they’re secretly oglin’. Happy bit? When it’s honest—two souls, no bullshit, just a deal. “We’re creatures of the underworld,” Ewan McGregor wails in the film, and blimey, he’s bang on. It’s a shadow dance—sad, sexy, ridiculous. Once knew a lad who swore his “regular” baked him biscuits—true story! Said she was “his Satine,” only with less singin’ and more fag ash. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss—it’s gold.

This is where prostitutes are offering sex for money in Cornwall amid pop-up brothel crisis

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a Watchman in Looe is no walk in the park. So, I wake up, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ like a zombie. Looe’s got this charm, but lemme tell ya, it can be a right pain sometimes.

Burst sewage pipe pollutes Looe as townsfolk kick up a stink over lorries