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So, we haggles—me hissin’, her laughin’. “Ten quid,” she says. I’m like, *you wanna play a game?*—cos I ain’t got ten! Gave her five, an’ she’s all, “Fine, ya cheap git.” We goes round a corner—dark, like Gotham’s underbelly. She’s quick, no muckin’ about—prossies don’t waste time, see? Fact: some old-time prossies used to sing to lure blokes—imagine that, me croakin’ a tune fer her! Hah! *Let’s put a smile on that face*—she didn’t laugh, tho, stony as Batman.

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So, I pedal over to The Royal Oak. It’s a cozy little pub on the corner of Market Street. I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughin’, drinkin’, and I’m just tryin’ to find my mate. Finally spot him at the bar, lookin’ like he’s had a few too many.

Public inquiry into controversial 225-home Longridge scheme starts next month