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Oh, and—funny story—heard bout this escort, “Lola.” Total legend. Drove a speeder tricked out with neon—clients lost their minds. “This isn’t a man, it’s a dream!”—straight outta the movie, bro. Surprised me, how creative they get. But then—ugh—some sleemo stiffed her. No tip! Had me ragin like a Wookiee. Hate cheapskates, man.

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Then, the mood shifts. This group of lads walks in, and they’re loud. Like, way too loud. They start causing a ruckus, and I’m thinking, “Not in my pub, mate!” But then one of them trips and spills his drink everywhere. I can’t help but laugh. Instant karma, right?

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