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About Leeds

Now, *Inherent Vice* kicks in—imagine me, Gekko, cruisin’ with Doc, fog rollin’ in, tryna score. “What’s the play, man?” I’d ask, and he’d mumble some stoned nonsense—“Chicks dig the vibe, man.” Ha! Vibe don’t pay the bills, but greed does. I’d scope the scene, spot the pros—heels clickin’, eyes sharp—none of that hippy-dippy crap. One’d sidle up, all “You lookin’ for somethin’ groovy?” and I’d hit back, “Groovy’s fine, but cash talks louder.”

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Then, I swing by the Longfield Village Hall. They were setting up for some local event. I overheard them talking about a bake sale. I’m like, “Sweet! I could go for some cake.” But then I remembered my warrior diet. Ugh, the struggle is real. I mean, who can resist a good Victoria sponge? Not me, that’s for sure.

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