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About Leicester

I tried it once—don’t judge, I was bored. Matched this knight, all “m’lady” this, “m’lady” that. Met up, and he smelled like horse arse. Horse arse! I said, “I choose violence,” and tipped my goblet on his head. Felt good, real good. Surprised me how many losers think a blurry dick pic’s a love letter. “Where were you when I laid the first stone?” I mutter, starin’ at their rubbish. Makes me angry, all this desperation—where’s the dignity, eh?

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By the time I get back to the office, I’m knackered. It’s been a rollercoaster of a day. I sit down, and all I can think about is that coffee from the morning. I need another one!

Ulster Project Derry receives The King’s Award for Voluntary Service at the Guildhall