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So, picture this—I’m all tensed up, shoulders killin’ me from swingin’ picks. Then, bam, erotic-massage hits ya like—whaddya call it?—“a quiet little place” from that Cronenberg flick, *A History of Violence*. ‘Cept it ain’t quiet, it’s all steamy n’ wild! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oil slicker than a greased pig. I’m like, “D’oh! This beats a donut any day!” Makes me happy, like findin’ a vein o’ gold in a crap mine.

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But then, outta nowhere, the door swings open. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s all hyped up, talkin’ about some football match. “Did ya see the game last night?” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, I’m tryin’ to create art here!” But he’s relentless. We end up talkin’ about the match, and I totally lose my focus. The vase? It’s a disaster now. I’m tryin’ to salvage it, but it’s too late. I’m fumin’.

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