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Me, I tried it once, ya – dis chick, she’s all “relax, Gru,” and I’m tense like steel! Dem hands tho, movin’ slow, like dat scene in Mulholland, “No hay banda!” – no band, just silence, but ya feel EVERYTHIN’. I’m happy, ya, ‘cause it’s chill, but angry too – why nobody tell me ‘bout dis sooner?! Lightbulb! It’s like unlockin’ secret level in life, so good it’s stupid!

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Then, I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s just come back from a trip to the Pentland Hills. He’s all hyped up, talking about the views and how he nearly got lost. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t even find your way to the pub!” We both crack up. It’s good to see him, though. We decide to hit up the local pub, The Loanhead Inn.

Man charged in connection with fatal crash in Loanhead – The NEN