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Oh, and the oils – lavender, ylang-ylang, whatever – smells like a damn jungle. Ties into *Tropical Malady*, that humid, alive feel. “The air hums, thick.” Movie’s in my head while I’m lyin there, zoned out. Exaggeratin maybe, but dude, felt like I levitated once. Swear to god. Best part? When they hit that neck spot – instant goosebumps. Worst? When they ghost ya after one session. Lame.

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Next, I head over to the local chippy on Clerk Street. You know the one? Best fish and chips in town, hands down. I’m craving it like mad. I order the usual – fish, chips, and a side of mushy peas. But when I get my order, they’ve given me curry sauce instead of peas! I’m like, “What’s this? I didn’t sign up for a curry!” But then I taste it, and oh man, it’s heavenly. I’m suddenly all smiles, like, “Okay, maybe today ain’t so bad.”

Neighbours alarmed as Midlothian police with riot shields descend on quiet street